Father-Son Cuddling Sparks Outrage!

At a recent dinner party, a seemingly innocent conversation began about the importance of affection between men and more specifically between father and son. Everyone was more or less in agreement until they saw the inspiration behind the topic. As the phone made its way around the dinner table with raised eyebrows and eyes clutching invisible pearls. They were looking at some of the same footage from the stills you see below which you can see here. I asked everyone to withhold their opinions until everyone saw it.

After everyone took a look one person said “I’m sorry but I don’t look at my father like that” and then the flood of opposing views began. It’s been much of the same around the web! Take a look at some of the comments being made around the father and son duo.

Well as you can imagine our conversations didn’t stop at dinner that evening. As we continued to unpack the affectionate behavior we saw between these men and our own emotions and feelings around it. We decided that it would be a great first topic for our new biweekly column “Polarizing”! So please subscribe below so you don’t miss out on future editions, new episodes of our podcast, and let’s be honest the comments because we know they get juicy. With that said, I asked the members of “The Board” to weigh in and if you’re not a regular here “The Board” are the people I trust most to unpack life with! They also help me produce some of the best episodes of the podcast. Check out our new Intro Trailer “We Came To Win” and you’ll see why I love them so much and why you will too, but I digress. It turns out that “The Board” was as passionate on the subject as many of you.

Aaron Kimble - I wanna be clear that while I think it’s so important for us to demonstrate father/son emotional and physical love, my initial reaction made me uncomfortable. I was never taught to look at my father like that. If anything, growing up, I rarely looked him in the eyes for long periods or he may have thought I would square up with him. I think we also need to take into consideration cultural contexts.

Marcus Pegues - This would be normal if men were truly allowed to be regular human beings.  However, society has branded any man who expresses his feelings or shows affection towards another man as being a member of the gay community.  It's homophobia out of control.  If this were a mother and a daughter it would be considered normal! What makes it worse is that people wonder why lots of sons don't have relationships with their fathers!  Well if you can't show love how do you form meaningful and lasting bonds!!  It also brings into question why men have commitment issues, and trouble staying in long-term relationships.  It's all connected!

Shamiso Tardif - Patriarchal standards of 'manhood' won't let men touch each other in the bonds of love and friendship. Sadly, some men can't accept prolonged physical touch without interpreting it as sexual. Men can't touch, they can't share feelings, can't cry. Can't can't can't. It's a lot of rules that simply mean they have no freedom and control.

KarIa Lozanne - I think the outrage is heavy because of black culture and the after-effect of slavery and much more. White men can show these affections with little to no recourse. They’ve also done experiments with babies that did not get as much attention and affection as other babies. Those who lacked affection did not thrive as much as those who did. Could you imagine a world where our black men and boys were adorned by not just their mothers but their fathers?

So what do you see when you look at these men? Something delightful or disgusting? Do you see a need for boundaries or the type of bonding between men that doesn't happen nearly enough? Subscribe and share your thoughts below and come back for more because one thing is for sure, it will be polarizing!